Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
