i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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