I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
