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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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