sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
