I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
