he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
