I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
