i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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