Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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