we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
