I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So. Much. Porn.
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