It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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