Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize