found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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