Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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