I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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