More tranny stories later!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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