come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
