What a fucking waste of an outfit
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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