Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
