I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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