Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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