those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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