The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
