But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
