Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
True strength comes from lack of pants
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
