So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
