well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
