can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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