dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
