this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
