Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
