fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
