Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
