i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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