He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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