Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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