Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
