Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
