I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
