Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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