New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
