Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
