Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
