im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
