She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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