GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
