you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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