Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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