Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
