i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
