is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
