she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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