Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
