My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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