just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize