I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
