You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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