the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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Liz is crying about burritos again.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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