I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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