My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize