Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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