he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
