I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
